Join Me
by Bookkbaby
Summary: BxR YAOI Songfic set to HIM's 'Join Me'. Bakura has been dead for two weeks and Ryou can't handle being away from his yami anymore. Happy ending. Warning: Chara. Death, Suicide, Selfharm


Okay- I don't own, you don't sue! Disclaimer and all that… I make no money! I don't even own the song! 

This is a songfic set to His Infernal Majesty's 'Join Me'. It's YAOI meaning BOY ON BOY stuff, so if you don't like… you have been warned.

This is a BxR songfic, and VERY angsty! CHARACTER DEATH (but it does have a… happy ending? Maybe that's what you could call it… It will probably make you cry.)

There may be OOC, and I haven't checked this one for anything more than spelling and grammar via the ABC Spellcheck I have, k?

Enjoy! (And don't kill me- I'll come out with happy ones, I promise!)

**Join Me** Baby join me in death 

_Baby join me in death_

_Baby join me in death_

Ryou lay on his bed, unmoving. The bed had grown cold long ago, but the pale teen didn't notice.

He couldn't let himself notice- doing so would only remind him of the person that was supposed to be there with him. The person who should be there to leech warmth off of. The person who usually wrapped his arms around Ryou- the one who seemed cold on the outside, but was hot when he was passionate about something.

That person had long since gone. Ryou was alone, and the cold made the loneliness of the silent room more oppressive.

The pale teen shivered at the chill of the room, taking in a long, shuddering breath. It still hurt him- more than it hurt Yugi, more than it hurt Anzu, more than it hurt anyone else he knew.

For the others, they had been putting to rest a friend that had deserved no less. For Ryou...

He had lost a good part of himself- he had not put his other to rest, his other had failed in his final ploy for power and had been sent to the afterlife, along with the other spirits haunting the Sennen Items.

Bakura had always seemed so alive to Ryou- Bakura had always gone after what he wanted while Ryou had stayed hidden in his dark's shadow. It seemed almost as though Bakura had been the true owner of the body the hikari had willingly shared until the dark one had created a body of his own. Bakura seemed to live his life as fully as possible, making his deeds known- like his life was under the rays of the sun for anyone to see, should they care to look.

Ryou had lived quietly, keeping his own confidences and trying to avoid being a burden on anyone. He had lived in the darkness of loneliness until Bakura had come along.

Looking back on the life he had shared with his yami, the pale teen could almost laugh at how opposite they seemed to be- and how perfectly they fit together, like Yin and Yang. Ryou- the hikari, the one who's good nature balanced the darkness of his other- had lived in the shadows until light had come in the form of his yami.

And when that light, that dark light that drew Ryou more surely than recently entombed treasure drew the King of Thieves, had disappeared, Ryou had cracked. He had faded, until he was just a shadow of himself.

No matter what he heard others say, he had allowed himself to dwell upon his loss.

It didn't matter that Bakura had technically been dead for millennia before meeting Ryou.

It didn't matter that Bakura had been cruel at first.

It didn't even matter that Bakura had tried- on numerous occasions- to kill those Ryou thought of as 'friends'. Bakura had changed- the pale teen knew he had.

The fact remained, no matter what anyone said, that Bakura was gone. Bakura had been so real, so alive, and so warm under that icy exterior...

Him being gone was like he had been killed.

_We are so young_

_our lives have just begun_

_but already we're considering_

_escape from this world_

Ryou knew he was too young to be thinking about things like his death, but after feeling Bakura's spirit slip farther away from him via their mindlink... It was hard not to have thoughts haunt him every waking hour, and even when he slept dark thoughts were not far from his mind.

The white-haired teen knew it was also far too early to be thinking that he had found his soulmate, but he and Bakura had fit together so perfectly it was hard to think of anyone else. Give it five days or five decades, Ryou knew his feelings would not change. His head had fit so perfectly under his yami's chin, and his body had molded perfectly to nestle close to Bakura's chest. Their personalities when light and dark- as opposed as night and day, just as destined to be a pair.

One of Ryou's fingertips came to the flesh of his right arm, absently tracing the light scars and scabs the pale skin was decorated with. All were fairly recent, the oldest one dating back to less than two weeks ago; the day his life and heart had crumbled and left ruins and despair in their wake.

Was it so wrong of him to want to stay with Bakura?

Was it so wrong of him to want to leave this world to achieve that goal?

_and we've waited for so long_

_for this moment to come_

_was so anxious to be together_

_together in death_

Ryou curled up tighter, hand leaving his arm. He knew that his desire for the afterlife wasn't healthy or safe, and he knew his friends would worry if they knew.

Ryou couldn't help it. He had never been mentally stable anyway, what with a psycho ex-tomb robber sharing his mind and body, but that hadn't mattered.

He could still feel Bakura's presence, sometimes. That feeling of Bakura still being there, just standing behind him had not faded much upon the passing of the thief's spirit. To turn around and not see Bakura standing there, with that confident smirk upon his face, just drew Ryou into a spiraling circle, moving ever so slowly down and down

Ryou could still hear Bakura's voice too, and that was what scared him. When he was alone, he would hear a faint voice calling out for him, and when he listened it was almost as if Bakura was with him, whispering in his ear.

'Join me. Follow me.' he would say.

Those words would reverberate for hours after the phantom that Ryou's mind must have conjured had disappeared, calling Ryou to the kitchen to stare at the sharp knives, or to the bathroom to contemplate pills. Everything he saw in those hours was a potential portal to Bakura, and it scared him.

He wanted to be with Bakura again- more than anything- but death was unknown. It was scary and dark and it was cold. There was no guarantee he would even end up with Bakura again- for all Ryou knew, there was no afterlife.

Death would also mean leaving behind his friends. They may have been the cause of Bakura's disappearance from his life, but they were his only crutches and he knew his passing would hurt them. He didn't want to hurt others as he had been hurt- he didn't want them to lose one they loved, but death was more and more attractive as he felt the vacuum of his dark's loss more and more.

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_Baby join me in death_

_Won't you die_

_Baby join me in death_

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_Baby join me in death_

Ryou clutched at his pillow with shaking hands.

He could feel Bakura in the room, but that was impossible. It was foolish to hope that Bakura's spirit could escape from wherever it had gone- and just to visit him?

"Join me, Ryou." It was that voice, that deep voice that touched his soul. That voice he would always know, with that presence he sorely missed.

"Follow me." Not pleading, not begging, but not quite an order. It was a request- but from beyond the grave, or from the deep recesses of Ryou's mind? Ryou couldn't tell, but he wanted to listen and give in to the phantom voice he could hear in his ear.

"For us. Follow me. Forever, Ryou. Join me- forever."

That voice was speaking so charismatically now, silky and persuasive. Ryou whimpered, shutting his eyes tight and clutching his pillow closer.

It hurt. That voice hurt him, reminding him of what he couldn't have again. Why was his mind doing this to him?

"Follow me forever, Ryou. I'm waiting." The presence he felt so keenly in the room slowly shrank to almost nothing, but it was still there.

If it had ever truly existed, it was still with him.

_This world is a cruel place_

_and we're here only to lose_

_so before life tears us apart let_

_death bless me with you_

Bakura watched Ryou curl up, wishing his current form held the power he had held as a spirit haunting a Sennen Item.

With his old power, he could have materialized and held Ryou and reassured him everything was alright. His pride may have gotten in the way, but he would have his own special way of telling Ryou to stop crying.

As he was now, he could only whisper and ask sometimes when he thought Ryou would hear him.

Life was truly a bitch.

He had never really known a 'family' or 'love' of all things until he had met his beautiful, light-haired hikari. Just when he was beginning to appreciate such a treasure, that final game had taken everything from him.

The Sennen Items were more trouble than they were worth. Ultimate power was the prize, but at the cost of everything- first his family, then his life, and finally the one person who had broken through his shell of ice- it was too much to pay. He had learned that too late.

It was impossible to return to life after what he had been through and what he had done. He could no longer go to Ryou, but Ryou could come to him.

Death had been the cause of much suffering for him in the past- the death of his family had started his hatred and rage towards the royalty of Egypt, and his own death had marked the beginning of a millennia-long imprisonment inside of the Sennen Ring- but now it could bestow upon him a great gift.

If Ryou would succumb to Death and come willingly, they could be together again. Forever.

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_Baby join me in death_

_Won't you die_

_Baby join me in death_

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_Baby join me in death_

"Join me."

The words echoed oddly in Ryou's ears, an almost desperate tone coloring the familiar phrase.

"For us. For forever."

Tears started running down his pale face as Ryou struggled to sit up. Bakura's voice seemed so real in his ears... he couldn't resist it any longer. He could no longer deny the desire to be complete again, even if he had to sacrifice this life to do it.

He stood, numb fingers dropping the pillow he carried as he stumbled towards the kitchen. Only a few more steps... only a few more things to do... only a little more time and he could let go without regrets.

His soul was eternal, as was Bakura's. He would find his yami, if he had to search all of Heaven, Hell, Limbo and Earth to find him.

"Come to me. Follow me."

"I'm coming." Ryou whispered. He slowly stumbled through the doorway of the kitchen, feeling almost as if on autopilot. His body was obeying his commands, but it all seemed so distant.

He walked up to the counter, grabbing a knife he knew would do the job. It was sharp and would cut almost painlessly through skin.

It would be over soon enough.

Sliding slowly back to the door, Ryou hesitated. He glanced over his shoulder.

A small pad of paper lay innocently on the counter next to the phone, a pen lying gently on top. The pale teen made up his mind and walked to the paper and pen. He quickly wrote out a short message, the comforting presence of Bakura around him and holding him as he worked through tears for all the people he would miss.

That longing, however, was nothing compared to the longing he felt for Bakura. It was a small and worthy price to pay.

The teen neatly folded the note and left it on the kitchen table. He exited the kitchen without a second glance, and didn't stop moving until he stood in front of the bathtub.

He turned the faucets on, knowing he would need water to keep the cuts open... once it started.

Bakura's presence again intensified in the room, as if egging Ryou on. It may have been only the hikari's subconscious mind, but even what Ryou perceived to be a pseudo-Bakura helped him.

Even so, he hesitated as he held the knife above his left wrist- one already scarred with numerous cuts.

"Join me, hikari." Ryou relaxed slightly, but still felt tears course down his face.

He was so afraid.

"I'm here."

It may have been his imagination, but Ryou could almost feel familiar arms wrap around him. It was almost

like Bakura was back.

But Bakura was gone. Ryou knew- he had felt the connection die.

That would all change soon.

Soon, he and Bakura would be together again.

They had to be, or he was afraid he would lose whatever was left of his sanity.

_this life ain't worth living_

_this life ain't worth living_

_this life ain't worth living_

_this life ain't worth living_

Ryou gently pressed the knife down, the sharp edge touching his skin, digging in, but not enough to draw blood.

With a shaky sigh, he pressed down. He gasped at the pain, but drew the blade all the way across his wrist.

He nearly dropped the knife at the sensation- it was burned, but the pain reminded him he was still alive for the moment. The hot liquid sliding down his arms reminded him that he would soon leave this plane.

"Do it."

Ryou fumbled with the knife, transferring it to his other hand. He quickly repeated the process, dropping the bloody knife as he collapsed with the pain he felt.

He barely had the presence of mind to turn off the tub and then submerge the damaged skin.

The water quickly turned pink, then red as the blood began to spread. Ryou watched it in some sort of sick fascination, feeling weaker and weaker as he felt more and more of the precious crimson liquid leave him.

He was so afraid.

Blackness began to dance at the edge of his vision, as the rest of the world grew blurry. His eyes began to close, and he could feel himself leaning forward.

He didn't have the energy he needed to push himself back up.

His head met the cool side of the tub with a dull 'clunk'. It didn't hurt much- all the pain was leaving him, even the pain from his wrists.

His body may have been feeling it, but Ryou felt more and more detached from that shell of flesh.

"Come on."

He could hear Bakura's voice- it seemed so much clearer. It was so much closer, and he could still feel his yami's spirit gently embracing him.

Was this death? Or a hallucination.

'I'm coming Bakura... please, I need to see you again...'

Ryou's breathing was short, and his heart fluttered weakly as the blood that pushed through it decreased in volume. His brain was foggy, and he could no longer think at all.

Faces began flashing in his mind. Yugi, Yami, Seto, Mokuba, Jounouchi, Honda, Ootogi, Anzu, Malik, Mariku... his friends. His father. Yugi's grandfather. His peers at school. That nice lady at the fruit stand. Everyone.

Bakura.

Those crimson eyes that understood him. That voice that told him he was wanted, even if Bakura had only said it once. Those arms that protected him. That spirit which was fiercely possessive.

The one he needed, more than anything else in any life.

'I'm coming. I'll be with you soon.'

With that, Bakura Ryou passed from the mortal world, and into the next.

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_Baby join me in death_

_Won't you die_

_Baby join me in death_

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_Baby join me in death_

_Baby join me in death_

Hazy eyes opened to a world of darkness- complete and total. The only thing he could see- and he verified this by looking down at his 'body', if it could be called that- was himself.

It may have been because he was glowing slightly.

'What happened?' Ryou wondered, looking around himself. Nothing in his surroundings seemed familiar- each stretch of 'land' was exactly like the next.

Memories came back- slowly, but then they came back as fast as a lightning strike.

'Is this death?'

Ryou tensed suddenly- he could hear the howl of some sort of nightmarish creature off into the distance. He felt so very, very alone, and his fear was almost consuming him.

He spun, feeling another presence to his other side.

Once his eyes landed on the figure, he froze with shock.

The other just smirked.

"Miss me, hikari?"

"Bakura..." Ryou murmured. He moved forward slowly, bringing his hand up as he closed the last few feet. He seemed unsure, almost as if he was afraid the Bakura before him could disappear upon contact, like he had in so many dreams...

The dark's smirk stayed in place as he allowed Ryou's hand to touch his cheek, confirming his presence.

The pale teen instantly teared up and fell into his yami's arms.

"You're here..."

"I am." Bakura automatically wrapped his arms around his light. It had been far too long. "Something like my death by the hand of that Ra-damned Pharaoh couldn't keep me from you."

"I missed you." Ryou said, the sound muffled by Bakura's chest.

"You won't have to- ever again." The yami- with shockingly gentle movements- tilted Ryou's face upwards and kissed him. "It's forever for us now. You're mine."

"Yours." Ryou agreed, laying his head back down on his dark's chest.

Nothing more needed to be said, as the two reunited lovers simply stood in the middle of a plain in the afterlife and embraced, for the first time in a long time.

Living World

Yugi knocked quietly on the door to Ryou's apartment. He knew that the pale teen hadn't been feeling well lately, and since Ryou hadn't shown up for class...

Yugi had offered to bring his homework over, as he wanted to speak with Ryou anyway. Ryou seemed to be taking the loss of his yami worse than Yugi himself- he was worried. Ryou had been so distant lately, and he had started getting thin since that day, two weeks ago.

'They deserved to rest.' Yugi thought, saddening as he remembered Yami. It had hurt him and he was still in mourning for his friend, but Yami had deserved peace after so many years of confinement and attachment to this world.

"Ryou?" he called, realizing suddenly that Ryou hadn't answered the door after a good ten minutes. He knocked louder.

"Ryou?" When he still received no answer, he checked Ryou's usual hiding place for his spare key- a small hollow in the wooden door frame, just big enough for the key, but small enough to go unnoticed. Yugi quickly pried the key out and unlocked the door.

It was disturbingly quiet in the apartment- and the short blonde knew something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Ryou?" he called again, shuffling forward into the kitchen area.

It looked unused, which Yugi wasn't too surprised about. It did concern him, however.

He looked around, spying a small note on notebook paper.

He stiffened in shock, knowing with a sinking heart what that paper had to be.

He slowly shuffled forward, and with shaking hands picked the piece of paper up. The message was shorter than he had expected it to be.

"'I'm going to join him again. -Ryou'." He read aloud, noticing the shaky handwriting. Ryou must have been near tears while writing. He scanned the paper- that was all.

He dropped the note like it had burned him, backing away from it.

He knew Ryou had liked his dark- he knew that Ryou had missed him...

But Ryou wouldn't- couldn't- have actually killed himself over it, could he?

As soon as his back hit the wall next to the entrance to the kitchen, he turned and ran to the small bathroom in Ryou's apartment.

"Ryou?!" he called frantically, knowing in his heart that he had already been too late. He pulled the door open, not yet realizing what he would see.

Ryou was slumped over and motionless before the full tub. A bloody knife lay next to him, the color already darkening to a dull brown. Similar dull brown specks and spots littered the floor, a large near-puddle of it just a foot or two from where Ryou now lay.

The water was still red, a sick, bloody red.

Yugi promptly turned and threw up, unable to look at the... body any longer. Hot tears ran down his face, both for himself and his friend. This was sick... it had to be a nightmare...

Yugi vomited again, then kept his face turned away for several minutes until his nerves were back under control.

He looked at what was left of his friend again, wishing he could look away. His stomach rolled again at the sight, but he couldn't let Ryou's body stay as it was.

He knelt- still crying- next to his friend and gently lifted Ryou's arms out of the water. The water splashed loudly, but Yugi barely noticed. He laid his friend down, trying to avoid looking at the mangled wrists or the unnatural pallor of Ryou's skin. He had always been pale, but...

Yugi wiped away his tears with his sleeve, only to have them replaced by more.

After five minutes of trying to stop his tears, he gave up. He scooted away from the body, curling into a tight ball and burying his face in his arms.

It was a long time before he stopped, but eventually he did.

He raised his red face- his eyes still puffy and his head aching- and looked, for the first time, at his friends face.

Ryou's body had not dropped far enough to submerge Ryou's face in the water, so the other's face was still as youthful as ever.

His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open as Ryou could no longer control his facial muscles.

There was almost a smile on Ryou's lips, but that could be a trick of the light.

Yugi sniffled again, then slowly stood.

He had to report this. He had to make arrangements for Ryou's body- it was the least he could do.

Numbness had set it- he couldn't feel the pain of the loss, he could only see that he needed to tell someone, someone who would know what to do.

He stumbled to where he knew Ryou had kept his phone.

'1-1-9' he dialed, picking up the receiver. When he heard the person on the other end pick up and ask the purpose of his call, he replied in monotone, the words bitter in his mouth.

The operator said that she would send an ambulance- to transfer Ryou to a morgue- and police- to investigate the cause of death and ascertain that Ryou had really killed himself.

Yugi knew the answer. Even if the operator didn't know Ryou, she probably knew the answer too.

Ryou had killed himself- the cops would agree.

Ryou was gone.

Yugi started crying again, stumbling back to the table where he had first seen Ryou's note.

Something was asking him to look again- it was like a pull on his body.

The message hadn't changed.

'I'm going to join him again.'

Yugi's eyes scanned the rest of the note. His eyes landed on a part of the note that had not been there before- it couldn't have been.

'He's with me. Mine.' It was familiar handwriting, but it couldn't be...

'And shrimp, the Ra-damned Pharaoh says 'hi' and 'thank you', along with other bullshit.'

It was signed 'Bakura'.

A/N: What'd we all think? I know it was angsty and OOC, but besides that? This was a ONESHOT, so there will be no updates. This was done- mostly just to get it out of my head…

At least the ending was semi-cute?


End file.
